Subscribe to get tough, fair journalism seven days a week.
Subscribe today

Day: March 10, 2017

Where does Batman get such wonderful toys?

Of the Keizertimes

David Sherman can pick apart a Batman movie likefew can. And not just as it relates to the plot holes and poor performances.

Sherman has an eye for detail when it comes to spotting what makes up the individual pieces of a character’s costume. For proof, look no further than the current exhibit at the Keizer Heritage Museum. It’s filled with bits and pieces of Batman movie nostalgia, including a few bits actually used on screen in the 1989 Batman movie. It’s all on display through April 29.

Sherman’s passion for movie props and costuming arrived at an early age with iconic special effects movies from the 1980s like the last two entries in the original Star Wars trilogy, Nightmare on Elm Street, Beetlejuice, Legend and Dark Crystal, but especially with the 1989 Batman movie featuring Michael Keaton as the caped crusader.

“I would watch that movie and go home and try to make batarangs out of cardboard that matched as closely as I could get them,” Sherman said. “After it came out on video, I would walk home from school just to rent the movie again so I could watch it, pause it, and look at things in detail.”

He remembers vividly thinking he would one day have a Batman suit like the one Keaton wore in the film, but never would have suspected to find himself in possession of a full-scale replica and one of the suits actually used in the filming of the movie.

The replica suit is one of several pieces on display in the exhibit, and it features components like the cape that were molded off pieces used during filming.

“Now, there are whole communities who spend time building the costumes. The thing the internet gave us was access to people making the actual movies. It’s kept very private among collectors, but there is access to people who have the molds used for original productions,” Sherman said.

In addition to the full-size batsuit, the exhibit features replicated bits and pieces from the more modern Christian Bale-led Batman productions – like utility belts, a grappling gun, batarangs, a Gotham City Police Department badge – alongside collectors items like action figures, a pinball board from the 1989 Batman pinball game and a one-third scale reproduction of the Keaton batmobile.

There are also two items with Hollywood provenance: a pair of boots and a pair of long gloves used by Keaton during filming of his movies.

“A lot of the pieces in the exhibit are replicas I put together from kits made by other people, like the utility belts from the (Christopher) Nolan Batman movies. Others are components I’ve worked on myself playing around with resin,” Sherman said.

Sherman doesn’t just collect these items. In many cases, he’s actually worn them himself in charity appearances around the region and especially at Keizer’s own Tony’s Kingdom of Comics. He spent many years working on his own costumes, but he purchased a replica utility belt from an eBay seller several years ago who introduced him to the underground network of costuming enthusiasts.

“Small groups of us will buy in to fund projects to get more and more screen-accurate pieces. They were crowdfunding things like these before crowdfunding was a thing,” Sherman said.

Given the sometimes-fraught nature of online transactions, some gambles don’t pay off the way Sherman hoped, but others feel like windfalls.

When he was putting together a Joker costume inspired by Heath Ledger’s performance 2008’s The Dark Knight, he wanted it to be as close to exact as possible. He found the company that produced Ledger’s socks for the role and ordered a pair for himself. He’s witnessed arguments over the precise color of the vest Ledger wore, and even found a clothier in Italy producing replicas of the suspenders used in filming.

Those might seem like simple tasks, but consider this: the suspenders are only partially visible in a single scene of the movie. Sherman and his fellow enthusiasts take details like that to heart.

The attention paid to detail is what gave him confidence when he purchased a production-used suit from the 1989 Batman film.

Tony Grove, the owner of Tony’s Kingdom of Comics, sent him a cell phone shot of the timeworn suit with telltale details. While the suits in the film appear to be all black, what the audience sees is pleather glued over top of the white bodysuit. The suit’s age had given way to the white bodysuit and that’s how Sherman knew it was legit.

“I was driving up to Portland when he sent the photos and I turned around and came back,” Sherman said.

Not only did he purchase the suit, the Marion-Polk Food Share benefitted from a $1,000 donation from the sale Grove secured as a finder’s fee.

While Sherman takes personal pride in his collection, it’s sharing it with others – whether he’s wearing it or not – that makes all the effort he goes to worth it.

“I actually have difficulty finding places that want me to wear the Joker suit because some people think it will be too scary, but it’s not really about who the character is. It’s about the person wearing it, and I don’t think many kids find me all that scary when I show up in costume,” he said.

Made at McNary

Drama fest is written, directed and acted by students

Of the Keizertimes

For the first time, the McNary One Act Festival will feature a short film.

Along with six student written, directed and acted plays, senior Ashton Thomas has turned APEX, a script by Braden Bedingfield intended for the stage, into a movie.

“My passion is really filmmaking and (I thought) if I can find something that could easily be translated into the film world, then I would love to take on that challenge,” Thomas said. “Then when I read Braden’s script, it was great and I thought that I could totally see it as a film. I just started and now that it’s coming to a close, I’m happy that I did.”

The One Act Festival began Thursday, March 9 and continues Friday and Saturday at 7 p.m. in the Ken Collins Theater. Tickets are $5 and on sale at

The film, starring Tyler Anderson and Hannah Collee, tells the story of a man tasked with monitoring a woman for three years. Since the woman is stuck in a room, the man’s only companion is an artificial intelligence module named APEX Seven.

After graduating from McNary, Thomas plans to go to film school. He’s already been accepted to five programs, including Biola University and Azusa Pacific in California.

“I’ve definitely learned a lot,” Thomas said. “It’s been a blast. I’ve had so much fun making it. There’s been so many cool people that I’ve got to work with.”

Thomas chose APEX from 23 scripts written by McNary students in drama director Dallas Myers’ playwriting class.

“There were some (scripts) that didn’t get picked this year that were just incredible,” Myers said. “I had a real good crop in playwriting this year, unreal kids. They’re all so creative.”

Thomas and six others took part in a directing class with Myers.

“It’s a really good learning process for them,” Myers said. “They had a book to read and then we did some exercises in class, very minimal and then they just get tossed into the fire, here you go, you’ve got to do it, and every time they’ve risen.”

The directors also cast their shows.

“It teaches the kids how much it takes,” Myers said. “My favorite part is always casting because I talk to them every time about how I hate casting because I have to see them the next day, sad, sad faces. They go through the same emotions. It’s a good learning experience.”

Three of the directors, McKinley Friesen, Heidi Hays and Kailey Rondo, also had scripts chosen.

Friesen is directing Benched, a script by Alayna Sykosky starring Jordyn Maret, Kendell Tacchini and Zachery Sell about a girl trapped in a long-term relationship, who gets advice from an old lady she meets in a park.

“I think it’s very realistic and it’s honest and it’s important for high schoolers to see a relationship like that and what’s best for the people in it,” said Friesen, whose play In the Garden, a modern day version Adam and Eve, is being directed by Emma Blanco. It stars Wocus Gibbons, Steven Cummings, Anni Sykosky and Noah Schnell.

All of the shows have freshmen and sophomore actors.

Senior Jacob Grimmer, who is directing Hays’ piece The Truth About Jaipur, found the experience harder than he expected.

“It’s really interesting because I’ve been directed by Mr. Myers a lot,” said Grimmer, who was recently in Defying Gravity and The Addams Family musical. “I thought if he can do it, I’m sure I can handle it. There’s only two actors. But it’s so hard. I have to run a scene and block it. If I don’t like how it looks, I have to change it. If they’re not quite memorized and one of them can’t make a rehearsal, then I have to change things.”

Girls showing they can wrestle, too

Of the Keizertimes

McNary had just two girls in its wrestling program this season.

The Celtics will soon have many more.

Nine girls wrestled for Whiteaker Middle School. Four, Ella Repp, Destiny Rodriguez, Elana Torres and Kayly Montero even got into the varsity lineup.

They joined the team for different reasons.

Repp’s two brothers competed at McNary. Rodriguez’s father wrestled and she begged him to go to practice at Celtic Mat Club after watching her cousin wrestle. Hope Soichy’s uncle and cousins wrestled. Isabella Moore’s older brothers also wrestle, one at Whiteaker and another at McNary.

Destiny Rodriguez wrestles in a match earlier this season. (KEIZERTIMES/Derek Wiley)

Reyna Terrazas, who did kickboxing and jiu-jitsu when she lived in Las Vegas, was recruited by Repp.

Montero played football at Whiteaker and wanted to give another sport a try.

Wolverines head wrestling coach Kelly Hafer said he saw Torres throwing a boy down during bus duty and asked her to join the team.

And Pacee Wirt said, “I  just got tired of people telling me I was a girl and I couldn’t play boy sports.”

All of the girls are glad they gave the sport a try and most plan on wrestling in high school.

“I think this is my sport,” said Wirt, who has also played softball, volleyball and basketball. “I didn’t like them as much as wrestling.”

“When I won my first match my dad was so proud of me,” added Moore.

Three of the girls competed in the middle school girls state tournament in Hood River on Feb. 18. Repp placed second at 80 pounds, Soichy finished third at 152 and Torres took fourth at 110.

Rodriguez, who has won state championships in collegiate, freestyle and Greco, wants to wrestle in the Olympics. Women’s wrestling debuted in the summer games in 2004 and then trickled down to colleges and high schools.

Just in Oregon, Warner Pacific, Southern Oregon, Pacific, Eastern Oregon and Umpqua Community College all have women’s programs.

“Women’s wrestling scholarships are the No. 1 unclaimed scholarship in college athletics,”McNary head wrestling coach Jason Ebbs said. “There really is a tremendous amount of potential for a girl that’s willing to commit that type of energy.”

On the high school level, Oregon currently has a girls state tournament exhibition but there’s a push to follow in the footsteps of Washington and move the tournament past exhibition status and make it official.

At McNary, both girls and boys have the same shot at making the varsity lineup. Last year, freshman Brooke Burrows wrestled at 106 pounds.

“It’s not boys wrestling. It’s not girls wrestling. It’s wrestling,” Ebbs said. “Brooke wrestled varsity for us because she was the best 106 pounder we had last year.”

Burrows then went on to win the girls region tournament and wrestled in the girls state tournament. She missed this season after suffering a knee injury playing soccer.

“She did a good job for us and we’re excited to get her back next year,” Ebbs said.

Freshmen Vio Evangelista and Nicolette Parra wrestled for McNary’s junior varsity this season. Both also competed in middle school.

“We’re hoping to keep sending them up, making it fun,” Hafer said. “I’d love to see McNary field a girls squad.”

Lorrie Jean James

L. James

Lorrie was born May 9, 1960. She was suddenly called home by our Heavenly Father Feb. 18, 2017.

Born in Salt Lake City, Utah, Lorrie was raised in Vancouver, Wash. She graduated from Evergreen High in 1978, and went on to a very successful career as a licensed hearing instrument specialist in Portland and Keizer and finally Albany. She finally found her soul-mate and loving husband, Michael James, and they married January 7, 2011. She had no children of her own, but became an instant mother to Michael’s sons Stephen and Christopher, and grandmother to Jeffrey, Joshua, Larissa, Chris Jr., Robbie, Stephen Jr., David, Cody, and McKensi.

Lorrie and Michael both loved to travel which included 14 cruises in Europe, the Caribbean and many trips to Mexico. She had a passion for cooking and computer games, and had just joined the Keizer Elks Club and was learning to line dance. She was a member of Morning Star Church.

She will be missed by her many special friends as well as her hearing aid patients from Keizer and Albany.

She was preceded in death by her brother, Michael, and mother, Katherine. She is survived by father Curtis Schaeffer, sisters Sharon Green and Carolyn Woltman, brothers Randy and Roger, five nieces, seven nephews, six great-nephews, and four great-nieces.

A memorial service will be held at Morning Star Church in Salem on Saturday, March 11 at 2 p,m, and eulogized by Pastor Scott, who had officiated at her 2011 wedding to Michael.

In lieu of flowers you may donate to your local food bank.

11 days after an arrest on a slew of charges, a Keizer drug dealer was back on the street

A computer algorithm helped make the call

Of the Keizertimes

At the time he was released a little before midnight on Feb. 27, a computer had decided Casey Miser was the least likely of about 350 male inmates at the Marion County Correctional Facility to reoffend.

The computer got it wrong.

Less than eight hours later, Miser, a 36-year-old Keizer man, was back in handcuffs on a slew of drug-related charges.

“You do not end up with a specific one-for-one rotation where one inmate takes another inmate’s spot. It is more complex than that,” said Lt. Chris Baldridge of the Marion County Sheriff’s Office. “However, we can state that when capacity needs at the jail required a release, Mr. Miser was an inmate with the lowest score (indicating he was the least likely to re-offend) and he was the inmate that had to be released based on the jail capacity management plan.”

On Feb. 16, Miser was arrested after Keizer and Salem police served search warrants on his Keizer home and a business where he worked on Portland Road in Salem.

A copy of the release agreement Casey Miser had to sign before leaving the Marion County Correctional Facility. (Source: OJIN)

The searches resulted in the seizure of 40 pounds of marijuana, 17 pounds of methamphetamine, five pounds of cocaine, a quarter-pound of heroin, 10,000 oxycodone pills, $40,000 in cash, five firearms and two sets of body armor. Miser was charged with delivery of methamphetamine, delivery of cocaine and delivery of heroin. His bail was set at $1.5 million.

Eleven days later, the jail became overcrowded with new arrests and Miser’s risk assessment score resulted in him being put back on the streets as the result of a forced release.

The next morning, Salem police served another search warrant on a home he owns in Salem and found him inside with five more pounds of methamphetamine and illegal marijuana grow.

This is how a two-time drug offender was determined to be a low enough risk to warrant release:

Around 2005, the Oregon Department of Corrections and Oregon Criminal Justice Commission (OCJC) analyzed re-arrest and re-conviction data of 55,000 offenders from 2000 to 2005 for the purpose of developing a tool that allows jails and prisons to assess the risk an arrestee poses to the community if they are released.

After coming up with an algorithm that takes into account factors such as age, the severity of the most recent crime, the number of prior arrests and incarcerations among other factors (race is not one of them), the analysis was applied to all 350,000 offenders sentenced to probation from 1980 to the present.

While the results weren’t perfect, according to an assessment on the OCJC website, the results were accurate about 70 percent of the time.

Currently, the risk assessment tool – which can be viewed and used by the public at – lists Miser at a 43 percent chance for a new felony conviction, a 42 percent chance for arrest for a new person crime arrest, and a 74 percent chance for a new property crime arrest. Miser hadn’t been arrested in the previous five years although he had been previously incarcerated.

While it is difficult to ascertain which arrest leads to one specific inmate getting booted from a jail bed, the risk scores of the male offenders booked into the jail the same day Miser was released provide some context. A 33-year-old with a total of 16 arrests in the past five years, was arrested and jailed for interfering with an officer. His risk assessment scores were all well above 90 percent in all categories. A 26-year-old whose risk assessment scores were 100 percent across the board based on 21 arrests in the last five years, was jailed for theft. A 33-year-old arrested for burglary, scored a 98 percent chance for re-offending in a person crime. Another man was jailed for illegal possession of hydrocodone and scored in the mid- to high-90 percentile in all categories. Finally, a 30-year-old was arrested for strangulation and had an 87 percent chance for re-offending with a person crime according to the OCJC risk tool. Several others also scored higher than Miser in a single category or all three.

It’s important to note the Marion County jail houses inmates from throughout the county, not just Salem-Keizer. The jail also houses inmates serving shorter sentences (a year or less) as well as those awaiting trial.

“When our jail neared its budgeted capacity, Mr. Miser was released so that we could hold onto offenders that posed a greater risk to public safety,” Baldridge said.

For the most serious crimes, such as murder, in which suspects are not allowed to be released, the risk assessment tool isn’t used. Such crimes are known as Measure 11 crimes, the result of a statewide ballot measure that set mandatory minimum sentences for crimes like murder, rape, manslaughter, kidnapping and others.

While the system is imperfect, Baldridge said it is the best tool the Marion County jail has for managing limited space.

“We do not have unlimited resources so we have developed a plan that makes the best use of the resources that we have available,” Baldridge said.

Sylvia Coomler

S. Coomler

Sylvia Coomler, long-time resident of Keizer, passed away peacefully in her sleep in Eugene, on February 18, 2017, of age-related causes. She was 96 years old.

Sylvia was born in Alexandria, Minnesota, on July 22, 1920, to Joseph Tehle and Mary Hruza Tehle. She moved from there to Wahpeton, North Dakota, then to Woodburn, Oregon, and then to Salem in 1933. As a child, she was a bit of a tom boy and liked to tell stories of playing ball with the boys and running across the tops of trains for fun. She was often asked why she couldn’t be more of a lady like her sister. She wore this as a badge of honor and attributed the fresh air and physical activity to her long life.

Sylvia was in the last class to graduate from the old Salem High School in 1937 and then attended Capitol Business College. She married her first love, John K. Coomler, on November 23, 1939. They moved to Manbrin Gardens in Keizer in 1946. She worked with her husband at their business, Coomler and Franz, a hardware/grocery store that was located on Cherry Avenue and River Road in Keizer. She later worked in accounting and as a receptionist at the Oregon State Forestry Department from 1959 until she retired in 1982.

In her adult years, she was a very elegant woman who always dressed to the nines. Sylvia enjoyed watching many sports, but became most animated watching the Blazers. She liked taking long drives with her husband and trips in their travel trailer, often spending summers in Depoe Bay. She loved spoiling her grandchildren and spending time with her dear friends, her wonderful neighbors, and her loving family. For several years after her retirement she drove Meals on Wheels. Sylvia kept mentally active by doing crossword puzzles and by being an avid reader, especially of biographies, non-fiction, and newspapers. She kept current on politics until the end of her life. Sylvia loved to garden; her yard was always a showcase that brought her great joy.

S. Coomler

Sylvia was an incredibly independent woman who lived on her terms in her own home for 68 years until she was 94. Although she didn’t drive often or far, it made her smile when at 94 her driver’s license was renewed for 8 years, or until she was 102.

John and Sylvia had two children, Judy and John, Jr. Sylvia was fiercely devoted to and protective of her entire family. With help from her children and wonderful neighbors she lived in the home that she loved until the last few months of her life. Her love for her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren was complete and unconditional.

Sylvia is preceded in death by her husband of almost 60 years, John K. Coomler, sisters Lillian Myers and Mildred French, and brother Lester Tehle. She is survived by her daughter, Judy Boler (husband Rich); son, John Jr.; grandchildren, Linda, Leslie, and Dan; five great grandchildren and numerous nieces and nephews who all adored and respected her. She will be dearly missed and fondly remembered.

Thank you to the wonderful staff at Emerald Valley Assisted Living and PeaceHealth Hospice in Eugene for all of the care and kindness that made Sylvia’s end of life comfortable. In lieu of flowers, contributions can be made to Meals on Wheels. Family and friends will celebrate Sylvia’s life on March 18th at 1 p.m. at McNary Golf Course in Keizer.

Why this newspaper is in your mailbox

Once each year—in March—we here at the Keizertimes decide to mail an issue to every house in the city. We do it so residents who make this city their home can see there is a source for the news and information that is important to them.

What you see in this March 10 issue is a bit bigger than a regular weekly edition of the Keizertimes, but the content is the same and that is why it is important to show those who don’t read the Keizertimes on a regular basis.

With the nation and the political discourse wracked with debates and arguments about what is and what is not real news, the Keizertimes prints what is true. The newspaper, owned by a proud Oregon publishing family for almost 30 years, has won countless awards over the decades, a testament to our mission. We publish news about city government, police, the fire district, schools, sports (school and the Salem-Keizer Volcanoes) and stories about Keizer people.

Keizer is a special place and that is reflected every week in the pages of this newspaper.

At a time when so much is uncertain and suspect, we want those of you who do not read the Keizertimes regularly to know that we take what we do very seriously. We don’t have an ideological agenda—however, we don’t reject opinions. Page 4 (this page) is the place for people to share and express ideas and opinions. You will find opinions on this page but on every other page you will find only facts.

We hope we can turn you into a regular reader and a subscriber. Let me know personally what you like and don’t like by dropping an email to [email protected]


A day of lemons

On Saturday, May 20, Keizer and Salem, for the fourth time, turn its attention to hundreds of elementary and middle school students who will become little businesspeople for the day.

Lemonade Day, born in Houston, is a project that helps kids understand about how to create and run a business. Hundreds of lemonade stands will be stationed throughout the two cities. The kids, either individually or with a team, will have created a lemonade recipe, designed and sited a stand and attracted small investors who will give money to these budding entrepreneurs.

Lemonade Day is not a frivolous day of play. Sponsored by the Salem-Keizer Education Foundation and working with schools and other young organizations, the day teaches kids about key aspects of business they will use into the future: setting goals, teamwork, responsibility, making and budgeting money.

Participants of Lemonade Day are asked to split their profits: one third to their education fund, one third donated to a charity of their choice and one third into their pockets as mad money.

Parents, guardians and teachers throughout Keizer should learn a little about Lemonade Day, then encourage their kids and students to be part of a growing project. The Houston, Texas area alone boasts tens of thousands of stands and revenue nearing $50 million. That success is something to want to be part of.

The official launch of Lemonade Day 2017 was earlier this week but kids can register to have their own stand. Visiting can start the whole process in creating tomorrow’s business people today.   —LAZ

Full speed ahead on bond

Salem-Keizer School District’s Long Range Facilities Planning Task Force held its final meeting last month and some decisions have to be made.

The school board will have to decide if it will pursue a bond that pays for all the projects identified. That could be up to $550 million and it would not include any new schools. Under the task force’s work, Keizer families can be confident that the city will remain a one-high school town. But issues of crowding desparately need to be addressed at McNary High School and other district schools.

McNary and other schools use portable classrooms to ease crowding in the brick and mortar buildings. The use of portable units has been in practice around the country for decades, it’s an inexpensive solution that does not address long-range crowding problems.

Overcrowded schools is a quality of education issue. STEM (Science, technology, engineering and mathematics) education suffers because labs are crowded and students don’t get as much time on those subjects as they should.  Much attention is aimed at STEM because those subjects are the first rungs in the ladder to a collegiate education in fields that are important to the economy the U.S. is morphing into. Attention needs to be paid to all areas of high school education including the elective classes that make school palatable for many students.

It is a fact that more students will be attending Keizer and Salem schools in the coming years. There is a social obligation to assure that our children have adequate space to do their learning. If it costs the school district $500 million to assure a quality education, then it must move forward.

Addressing seismic and overcrowding issues piecemeal should not be an option; the school district and the school board have a duty to its students to fix and expand capacity at schools as soon as possible. Discussions by the task force, the district administration or the school board are not trivial—this is an important issue that should be tackled head on and at full tilt. We support moving forward with a whole package to complete upgrades and expand capacity to present to voters.

Children are our greatest natural resource and we should not skimp when it comes to assuring that they grow into educated and engaged members of society. That’s society’s obligation.   —LAZ

Taking advantage of an eclipse


Oregon is very near the center line of the path the August 21 solar eclipse will follow.  If you have distant friends looking for lodging it is already too late.  For this reason we have decided to open our home for those still needing a room. Not only will they be able to enjoy this very rare celestial treat but, coincidentally, it falls exactly at the same time as Lütenpillage, a rarely celebrated tribute to capitalism where local merchants observe the influx of tourists with special pricing.  

In order to preserve Keizer’s safety we ask that you notify prospective guests right away so there will be enough time for semi-extreme vetting.  This application process will be included in the price of the room.  All guests must swear they have not met with any official of the Russian government and must submit tax returns for the last five years unless of course they are currently being audited by the IRS.  Because we have our finger on the pulse of American health care, so to speak, we’ve already repealed the Affordable Care Act at our house.  We’ll need a doctor’s letter certifying that guests are healthy.

There will however be a small surcharge for the wall we are building around the north and south borders of our property.  When we find which undesirables we are keeping out we will bill them and send you a refund.  As we have a private email server, we ask that all highly classified government business be done on your own devices. Wi-Fi is supplied free of charge.  The password is $25.

So that guests will feel fully embedded in native lifestyle the rooms are decorated in humble, thrift shop/McNary High décor typical to Keizer. Air conditioning would be out of place, but small, quiet fans are included.  Rooms are carpeted and have blinds and doors to protect your privacy.  Each room has a closet you could conceivably walk in.  Small travel bags that fit under the bed are allowed at no cost, and there is only a $35 fee for each larger suitcase. Each room will cost only $345 per night. The bathroom is down the hall to the right.  Owners claim first dibs. Showers are timed and rated per minute.   

Directly out the back door of the house is a bird sanctuary so, though pets are welcome, we ask that you lock them in your car at all times.  Speaking of cars, valet parking is available at $30 a night. If your dogs seem resentful at spending the night in the car a complimentary pass to Keizer’s beautiful riverside dog park is included at no charge.    

Though we consider this establishment more bed than breakfast, a small breakfast is provided from 8 to 8:20 each morning.  Choices include toaster pastries, pre-cooked sausage patties, shrink-wrapped muffins, bulk cereals, fruit-free fruit drinks, gluten-free, fat-free, sugar free, peanut-free, and taste-free items.

For your leisure time there is a piano on site.  We have a television with eight or 10 channels, an original Nintento game console with Tetris, and fully shuffled cards.

Don’t miss Keizer’s local attractions when you visit. We are within easy walking distance of the new roundabout, where near-misses and traffic standoffs provide thrills as passive and aggressive drivers make their decisions.  There is also the Claggett Creek Wildlife Reserve where there are regular sightings of cows.  Heavy rains occasionally produce enough standing water to attract a variety of mostly geese.

There is minor league baseball, little league ball and possibly a new Winco store by then.  Keizer Station has lots of new stores and restaurants and guided tours will be offered so that you can avoid endless looping in search of an exit.

This is Oregon.  If complete overcast prevents viewing of the eclipse a handwritten note of deep sympathy will be sent to your home.  Postage due.

(Don Vowell gets on his soapbox regularly in the Keizertimes.)